Wednesday, July 29, 2015

All These Emotions

All these emotions, flowing like oceans.
This rogue wave hitting me, I need to behave.
Trying to remember to not be a slave.
Why are these tears about to flow down my face?
I'm trying to stay way from this rip tide, that's
trying to pull me down till I die.
What's this feeling flowing through my veins?
Still remember the needle that numbed the pain.
Just want everything to be okay.
I can't give up feeling again.
Trying to remember that this could be the last day.
At any moment this ocean could wash me away.
My dead body could wash on the shore, but not because I gave up hope.
But the ocean will still live on,
and until then i'll keep sailing on.

Just Typing away

Just typing away until I can find the right words to say
to take away your pain, make this world rearrange so we don't have to continue being afraid.
But what can I say?
What can I say?
The love and compassion of this world is strong enough to take a hold.
Strong enough to take away the pain, strong enough to get me through the day.
Together we're one and forever we're together.
Even if this world would end our love will live on forever.
I would give anything to take the pain out of your soul by the end of this poem.
I love you.

Echo

Can you hear me i'm searching out?
Can you hear me i'm searching out?
I need you.
I need you.
I need your help your guidance.
I need your help your guidance.
I'm so alone.
I'm so alone.
I'm trying to pull it together.
I'm trying to pull it together.
I'm trying to be the man I need to be.
I'm trying to be the man I need to be.
GOD JUST TALK TO ME, JUST TALK TO ME PLEASE!
GOD JUST TALK TO ME, JUST TALK TO ME PLEASE!
I'M BEGGING YOU!
I'M BEGGING YOU!
WHY IS THERE ALL THIS SUFFERING?
WHY IS THERE ALL THIS SUFFERING?
WHY IS THERE ALL THIS PAIN?
WHY IS THERE ALL THIS PAIN?
I'LL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT END, JUST HELP ME PLEASE!
I'LL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT END, JUST HELP ME PLEASE!
IS ANYONE THERE?
IS ANYONE THERE?
Echo
Echo

I'm Fine

What can I say?
I'm falling to pieces all over again.
This depression has a hold.
Why weren't you there?
I'm so unprepared.
I thought i'd know what to do,
honestly sometimes I don't have a clue.
All I wanted was for you to care,
for you to be there.
I don't know how on the inside I can feel so alone,
and on the outside I still manage to just pretend.
Some days all I needed was just a friend.
But i'll just tell you that "i'm fine" once again.
Cause i'll always be fine once again.

Just Take It

Just keep on taking from me until there's nothing left.
Just keep pushing me until there's no more I can take.
What do you want from me?
Why won't you help me?
What is it that truly matters to you?
I can't do this alone, isn't that easy to see?

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

S.A.D.

Lost, thinking this might be the life that I just need to toss.
Just trying to hold it together.
My mind lost in the weather.

Thunder storms begin to roll by, as I watch the birds begin to flee.
The storm begins; feeling incredible once again.

CRACK!

The thunder roars as the lighting electrifies my soul.
Category 5 at the point where i'm just trying to survive.

Just trying to live my life.
Don't know if I can survive.

Who would want to live this life?
I do and I'll do anything to survive.

The planes begin to crash.
Everything that we could have done, nothing but screaming; the winds screaming can barely hear it.

Just trying to feel it.
Heart breaking, muscle tension, getting in my mind to relate it.
Earth quaking, heart shaking, trying to do more then just fake it.

The tsunami hits the shore blasting me away and all I can do is bear to ask for more.

As the weight of world begins to bring me down, as I begin to sink down I scream towards the sky asking why, at this point I'm wondering if the bubbles will even reach the sky.

As the water fills my lungs, i'm questioning if I should have just picked the gun.

But that's absurd I had my fun, I had my love, I realize now that I had everything that I could have wanted.

My frown turns upside down.

I die.
Just Wow.

The storm passes by, nothing but clear skies.
The world did what it did just too survive.
My body washes upon the shore, as the birds fly by.

Shadows

Waking up still fucked up,
on the verge of throwing up due too last night
and all the actions that were so corrupt.

Yelling in the back of mind
just to get the voices to shut up.

Just trying to get out of my bed and stand up.
Just been counting the days, so many days in a haze, in a craze.

Gripping my stomach from self inflicted pain.

Just wondering when peace will begin.

Wondering when everything will be fine again.

Lost in a world of sin.

The same sin that made my lies begin.

The sun begins to set.

As I begin to lose myself in the shadows that walk past.

Stuck in the past, as it comes creeping past.

Shadows seem to be moving faster then light.

All these things I want to say in-between the lines but I don't have the time.

Just loosing myself in the streets as the shadows begin to creep.

Just ticking by.

Just trying to grow up, just trying to survive.

Just trying to run as the shadows turn and start to come.

The shadows begin to tear me apart at every lie, and the things I never
said because I didn't have the time.

Just sitting down to think.

Just throwing up your hard work into the sink.

I just don't know what to believe questioning everything that I've ever seen.

As the shadows leave I wonder if my soul is going to be
one that burns.

As i'm sitting by the toilet floored, I
can see myself in Satan's eyes; just another lonely bastard trying to get by.


Tides Of Change

The tides of change crash upon the sands of time.

As the perceptions that once held my mind begin to disintegrate.

Questioning reality as I sit at the gates of heaven and hell.

Can't even tell if it's just a another day dream just can't even tell.

Just stuck in this blessing let me rehearse, remix, and reverse just stuck
in this curse.

Can't tell if i'm relapsing, or just on the verge of collapsing.

Manic beginning to panic just beginning to search in my cabinet, in my fridge, Facebook anything.

Just trying to open my eyes to see, this whole world that lies in front of me.

I just want to believe that we can all just be, just in a world of peace.

Just hearing the taps of my laptop just for a release.

As I try to quiet down the screams that have just become broken shards of glass in my brain.

Just lost feeling the shame, just stuck in this life that feels like a game.

Can't get rid of the screams. Just screaming to do something.

I know I have to change, this life I have to rearrange.

Just sitting around watching lakes become oceans as rivers reach the coast, wondering what will happen once I go ghost.

Just trying to stop slipping up, just trying to get to the point where i'm catching up.

Just hoping in my time that I leave something behind, something that sticks in your brain.

Just wanting you to know that nothing ever has to be the same.

Just sitting on the beach as the tears begin to reach.

All the things I wish I could say.

Everyday a constant struggle, battling to keep myself together.
All these words that I never say, all these problems that never go away.
All I really want is to say how I feel without having to worry about how everyone else will deal.
I'm having a hard time with this life, these constant feelings that I have to sacrifice.
I don't know anymore everything is constantly drama or a bore.
I want to say what's going on in my head, and how I really feel, but sometimes I feel like i'd be better off dead. I don't want to hurt those around me, maybe it's just better to keep the pain inside me.
Is my story better left untold, or should I just go for it and break the mold;
I don't know but I feel like i'm about to implode.